There’s a radio program that airs around the time I am usually picking up a child from a weekend playdate. A few weeks ago it featured an interview with John Hodgman, a sort of hipster-comedian, who is older than most hipsters (i.e., my age). He recently wrote a book (Vacationland) which, apparently, at least occasionally, addresses parenting. What I remember from the interview is his statement that parents tell two lies to their children.
Lie #1: S.C. is real. (Using initials here in case you have a small person reading over your shoulder).
Lie #2: We, as parents have no vices.
I think the second lie is usually implied; if I were to speak the words, “I have no vices”, my older children would collapse in a cascade of belly laughs. They’ve seen me on hour 18 of a road trip. They know all about my vices.
It’s an open secret that I must try to maintain, though, because I am their mother and I know that vices should be addressed before they become barriers to happiness and progress. As I love to tell my children when they use teenager logic on me, “I’m your mother because I know more than you.”
They love that.
Now my question: